But I was done…wasn’t I?

23 Jun

Today I lived my normal life. I woke up, got myself and the kids ready, and was 5 minutes late for work with coffee in tow. I went to meetings and sent emails, and I pretty much forgot that I got diagnosed with cancer yesterday. And then there’s the pregnant people.

I have two healthy, beautiful and brilliant daughters. I live a busy life, I have two mortgages and my husband works swing shifts. I couldn’t possibly handle another baby. But now I know that I CAN’T have another baby. That was supposed to be my choice.

Maybe I was only going to gain 20 pounds with my third pregnancy. I was going to wear my Paige Denim maternity jeans, and Andy was going to ban me from shopping at Bella Belli in Birmingham. I was going to feel the nudge of baby feet in my belly again. And I was going to have a little boy. His name was going to be Andrew Joseph, and I would call him Drew. He was going to look just like Andy, only he would have dark wavy hair like my brother did as a baby. He was going to be sweet and cuddly, and he was going to drive his sisters crazy.

Hopefully I won’t get teary every time I see a baby bump. But for today, I mourn the possibilities.

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2 Responses to “But I was done…wasn’t I?”

  1. koshkha July 13, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

    There's no reason you shouldn't have another baby – many people who have successful treatment for thyroid cancer do still get pregnant. Don't write this off as a possibility.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Thyroidless and Pregnant | Thyroidless - May 30, 2013

    […] I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I was devastated every time I saw a pregnant woman. I even blogged about it. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, because I didn’t think I even wanted another […]

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